I have so many friends, none of whom actually like me.

From experience you can sit at home and not meet anyone; or you can go out and meet people, and provided you apply yourself to this form of masochism over a period of time you will meet more and more people, and in time you will have met so many people you may find yourself wishing that you had stuck at home alone by yourself afterall. If of course you have a glorious home filled with riches such as I do this last won’t be such a stretch for you. I have six bathrooms, one is tarted up like the red bathroom in Graceland, one is original (with Palm trees on the walls) and one has a puzzle of black-and-white tiles so I can pose topless in front of the full floor-to-ceiling vanity mirror like a Beardsley character.

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