I know so many people; they are so unfailingly awful

I have of late been conducting a social experiment; I will draw the line and not call it an ‘interesting’ social experiment because it has not been terribly interesting but rather had the effect of confirming all of my worst suspicions re: the human race. It would be too too easy for me to lock myself up (like Mother) in my gorgeous house (pictures will be in next post) and slumber in the old baths of breastmilk waiting for the day I return to the dust from whence I came while my peacock (Sebastian) walks around making pointed and cynical remarks (he is good at that). But instead I have followed some rather naff advice and that is “to be open to more people” only to discover that “people” are predominantly boring and annoying, if not stupid or – worse – stupid AND arseholes. (Often the arseholism is compounded by the stupidity, or a direct result of it.) But it is not enough to simply tell you that, I should explain.

Well of course you know already I lead a very glamourous life & work in the theatre (for laughs) I have been told many times that hard work gives you a sense of purpose, though perhaps I don’t work quite hard enough to have achieved the purpose yet, but I digress.  I have encountered a lot of acting giants (they are always short).

In any case I finish up late at night and this I find helps me to avoid the general populace, and nighttime has a nice way of reducing things to much clearer elementals, so: black, black (or blue-black) and lights (and colours) contained within a sort of limited sphere that makes the colours fall back on themselves and look brighter than they would in the day, so you see: pink-light, white-light, yellow-light, greenish-light that brings out the warmth in whatever colour is nearby, and everything else is just blue-black because it doesn’t count unless there’s a light on it. I suppose this might be what the world looks like to dogs all of the time.

Anyway you can distil it further, like Beardsley: he worked in blocks of black & white which has the effect of making everything ordered and clear; flat, no dimensions, and infact the people always look transparent, but very clean, and then you can see they always have cruel expressions on their faces. Aubrey Beardsley as any fool knows had a very dirty mind; he never missed a trick (in his pictures that is; he probably died a virgin). It’s incredible what got past his publishers: they wanted Salome’s attendant covered up but never noticed the candlesticks or the fact Salome’s servant with the fetus head can’t get it under control. Meantime Oscar Wilde sits in the corner pointing right at it, and the naked boy servant isn’t interested in Salome at all (his mask is looking at Oscar).

That is all very well but incase you were thinking I was about introduce you to a kind of inverted world of decadent nighttime revelry let me reiterate; people are predominantly  boring and annoying, and also stupid.  The problem is that most people are too stupid to realise that they are boring & annoying so instead of a nighttime full of glorious inverts and strange creatures you just get the boring & annoying people, drunk, which makes them even more boring & annoying, though of course they think they are really hilarious and having oh such a marvellous time, when in fact the alcohol just brings out the sublimated toddler (rolling around and pissing everywhere) / humping terrier instincts / warlords punching on in Hungry Jacks and getting blood on their gross neon t-shirts. I can’t tell you how sick this makes me (the neon t-shirts, that is; I hope they kill each other). Also bogans and “normal” people will invariably have very rosy clean shaved faces that extend up onto their heads just to make sure they look as much like Beardsley’s fetus-people as possible (you’ll see it). And of course nothing is more gross and disgusting than a fetus when you look at it, especially since certain people are adamant that they are perfectly human, or at least have the potential to be.

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