Some Might Prefer Brooksville

Mr. Brooks was thoughtful enough to return to us yesterday with a neat catalogue showing the four types of monstrous houses he was planning to build over our dead bodies. “These are all Architect-Designed,” said he. “As opposed to butcher-designed, which is more usual. There are four types, so you can choose one to fit your personality. Our idea of what constitutes a personality roughly corresponds to four different colours of laminate.”

modern-ranch-homes 1950s

Admittedly I was impressed by the grand number of personalities & colours the architects had managed to come up with between them. Usually functionality and human interests are discreetly dropped off from the bottom of the design brief. I used to work for the Hellmouth of Architecture & Design (TIMR) so I know all about it. The HR Manager was a vague, ergonomically minded yoga devotee, who eventually replaced me with a man named David whom she had met in her yoga class. Jane Doe was eternally drinking large quantities of Vanilla and Rooibos tea (which is packaged like tampons because it tastes like tampons) in order to offset a nervous breakdown, which came on inevitably due in no small part to the horror of working within an award-winning, architect-designed building, where the corridors led nowhere. (It had been thought prudent to install escalators instead of a second set of lifts, so one could spend 40 minutes a day travelling like the Jetsons between 10 storeys, in zig-zags of 55 degree angles, and then have to climb a staircase to the top level at the end of it all. Apparently Level 11 and Level 12 had been added on as an award-winning afterthought; the water from the air-conditioning leaked through the fluorescent lights.)

Sociables Prefer Pepsi trends_from_70s_cover.jpg.600x275_q85_crop1952-armstrong-floor

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