Now we could hear an insistent tap-tap-tap-tap- echoing down the long hall. “I’d know that sound anywhere,” said mein pater. “It’s Nancy Sinatra’s boots!” I had left Nancy et al on the patio for some time. Perhaps she was coming to get a re fill for her hip flask. “Is Nancy Sinatra really here?”
“Yes Archie,” said I. “As I formerly explained in a previous post your oldest, fondest friends are currently ensconced in Shitsville Ranch to celebrate your death… I mean life.”
“Nancy!” said mein pater. He was clearly touched. His eyes had misted over and he started in on a reverie. “Nance and I go way back,” he said. “I remember her when no one else would look twice. The first time I set eyes on her I thought, ‘Who’s that wop?’ I couldn’t figure out why everyone was being so nice to her, she was plain and dark and really the worst dressed girl in the room, I thought she’d escaped from a nunnery, honey that’s for sure. Then someone told me she was Sinatra’s daughter and it all made sense… Years later when we were both playing Vegas I told Frank about it as a kind of joke and that’s why he had me blacklisted. Let me tell you, it was a long time before I worked in the industry again, hell I got so close to starving I actually thought about getting a real job.”
“Yes, pappy,” said I. “I know you have a real way with words that could explain many of your long periods of despondency and unemployment, and also why I, your sweet lovely daughter, was blacklisted by Frank Sinatra at the age of two and instead of easily and naturally making a mint from my good looks, numerous talents and undeniable charms have had to spend years procuring money by irregular means.” I did not tell him that Nancy still had a soft spot for him and that she’d pressed a rather large cheque upon me in lieu of flowers, “Because I like to think of you as the child we couldn’t have,” she said. “I was never allowed to say this when he was alive.”
Now Nancy was right outside the kitchen. Before he could say anything else I pushed Archie into the pantry and closed the door on him. “She might get a shock seeing you like this,” said I.