The wettest thing in Texas

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We went on drinking for a while. Dialogue as follows.

I [Miss Shitsville]: Have you finished your drink yet?

Roger: Easy love. [Drinking deep.] Yeah that’s alright. Good stuff, isn’t it. The ice blocks is a bit big though.

MS: Those ice blocks come from NASA.

Roger: Oh like you mean. Are they those underwater people?

MS: What…?

Roger: NASA. Sailors and shit. They make Aerodynamics so you can breathe underwater for a long time.

MS: Have you ever been under water for a long time?

Roger: No.

MS: Would you like to be?

Roger: It’s hot isn’t it?

MS: You’d probably prefer the weather back in Melbourne.

Roger: Nah it’s fucking freezing in Melbourne. Gets you right down.

MS: Is that why you came to Texas?

Roger: It’s my gap year.

MS: You decided to spend your gap year on holiday in only the world’s worst places?

Roger: Football’s finished anyway. Do you like football?

I do not like football.

MS: In Texas the only sport is sniping.

Roger: That’s underwater, yeah?

MS: You mean snorkelling?

Roger: And you’re gonna take me snorkelling later?

I bethought myself to make a joke.

MS: In Texas the only really wet people are Christian.

Roger: ? Do Christians like snorkelling?

Now another whore, Evelyn Einstein, was eyeing him off.

Roger: [to Evelyn] What are you then, eh?

Evelyn Einstein: [in honeyed tones] I’m the wettest thing in Texas.

Roger: Oh. [To me] Is she a Christian?

MS: Evelyn Einstein works in the whorehouse… She’s the union rep.

[Continued here: Coming to the point in Texas]

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One thought on “The wettest thing in Texas

  1. Pingback: Back in fucking Texas | missshitsville

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